"I'm stronger than yesterday."
-Britney Spears I recently came across the concept in Buddhism of the “eight worldy winds,” a group of four opposite pairs that cause turmoil in our minds: pleasure and pain; praise and criticism; fame and insignificance; and success and failure. From an evolutionary standpoint, part of the human condition seems to be to chase one of the pairs, and flee the other. Awareness of this tendency was collated into the teachings of Buddha over 2,500 years ago, and still has relevance today. I used to think that the way through these headwinds was purely through the practice of “equanimity,” or calmness and composure in the face of struggle. The idea was, through practices like breathwork or visualization, if I could keep myself composed during moments of stress, then I could see myself calmly through to the other side. But lately I’ve come to value a complementary aspect to this practice, that of “resilience.” Resilience interacts with the worldly winds in a different way, granting the individual the agency to respond as it needs to in the moment. While equanimity urges one to be the calm in the middle of the storm, resilience steels one’s will to keep getting up no matter how many times the storm knocks you down. The term mindfulness gets thrown around a lot in spiritual and psychological circles, and no more so than in Dialectical Behavioral Theory, or DBT. When I started learning about DBT after my second inpatient stay, I found the pure mindfulness exercises the hardest things to grasp. While I had practiced meditation on and off for the previous decade, the equanimity I had found in doing so was brittle, and fragile to external forces. As such, I would ping-pong between the two states, that of unrelenting calm (from time to time) to that of utter turmoil (more often). With the addition of the term “resilience” into my mindfulness practice, I became more adaptable in the face of life’s storms. The winds may continue, but I would choose what actions I take in response. Here the word “agency” comes back in full force. To some of you, the term “wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman” may ring familiar—to others, check out the link below. This motion, that of being tossed about by the wind, arms a-flailing, comical and ridiculous, can’t help but feel similar to the experience of a soul in turmoil. In a curriculum of equanimity alone, there’s a certain shame to being this thing, helplessly tossed about by the winds of misfortune. But in a practice of mindfulness that includes resilience, we give ourselves space to be that thing, that wacky waving inflatable tubeman from time to time, to hold ourselves with compassion, to know that it’s ok to be bowled over by a particularly strong gust, that we have the option of getting up and facing our trials, in all their seemingly sisyphean glory, once and again. Modern pathology (especially technopathology) seeks to reduce our resilience, to turn us instead into dopamine-craving zombies. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, one of the most profound ways I was able to practice agency was in taking control of my relationship with social media. For those unaware, I have a spectacular tendency towards comparison. Indeed, it is a talent, for finding ways to compare myself, and always infavorably I might add, to individuals with whom I have nothing in common, neither circumstance nor experience, and after which the inevitable self-flagellation occurs for my not being of sufficient quality, not being up to scratch, essentially, for not being enough. Add to this a nasty case of bipolar disorder, and the years surrounding 2010 (or, for that matter, any of the years before 2019) were not a good time for me. So in 2013 I did the unthinkable—or at least what seemed radical at the time: I deleted my personal facebook account, and vested my professional page to comrades and allies who were willing to help manage it largely on my behalf. Nothing happened, of course. Nobody cared. Why would they? They were too busy spending time on facebook. But there was a nice kind of relief about the fact that the sky didn’t fall, that it didn’t suddenly rain fire because I had defied the law of Zuckerberg. I got my life back that day. I chose me. Now, I’m not at all saying this applies to anyone else. I know a lot of people who derive great utility from social media sites like facebook. I’m just not one of them. My predilection towards comparison made me an easy mark to be exploited by the dopamine trail of crumbs that comparative social media sites provide. But now, thankfully, I was free. This seemingly small decision became an eye-opening example of how I might make the choice away from default behaviors that are harmful, and pick a new adventure, an adventure of my choosing. To me, a mindfulness curriculum that includes both equanimity and resilience provides the psyche with both the time and the space to cultivate a sense of “enoughness,” one that is independent of external circumstance and validation. This in turn allows for the blossoming of agency, ensuring that I have the tools to show up, time and again, in the face of life’s unpredictability, that I have the option of engaging with the world’s complexities rather than seeking escape, that I am whole and balanced, and empowered to act for the benefit of all. Travel safe and talk soon. Quote source: Stronger (Martin, Rami), Britney Spears
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at a glanceAdam Farouk (born April 6, 1978) is a Malaysian musician, producer, writer, and entrepreneur, currently based in the United States. He is known for his integrative approach to the creative arts, and frequently infuses his works with unlikely combinations of style, influence, and genre.
Learn more about Adam's other creative projects at bluedorian.com!
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