When you're learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while...
-Indigo Girls
Ok, so we may have overdone it.
Finding ourselves each poorly at year’s end could be a signal to my wife and me that we pushed a little too hard over its course. It’s been a building year, with practical decisions abound and processes set in motion, destined not to see completion until the following year or later. Still, these years happen from time to time—rather, more often than not—and I’ve learned to relish and respect them as much as I do the roller coaster periods of high output that inevitably follow.
We’re used to the long game. We chose it, and it nourishes us in a way that expedience never has and never could. That’s not to say there are no downsides. There are times I fall prey to avarice, envy, and other negatives unbecoming of a person living immaculately. I take ill-guided solace in lack and the zero sum game, believing for a second that another’s success is tenable only in a world that guarantees my failure. To that end, I believe in the inevitability of failure-on-my-watch, see no triumphant end to my journey, and succumb to despair and languish in gloom and sorrow.
We’re used to the long game. We chose it, and it nourishes us in a way that expedience never has and never could. That’s not to say there are no downsides. There are times I fall prey to avarice, envy, and other negatives unbecoming of a person living immaculately. I take ill-guided solace in lack and the zero sum game, believing for a second that another’s success is tenable only in a world that guarantees my failure. To that end, I believe in the inevitability of failure-on-my-watch, see no triumphant end to my journey, and succumb to despair and languish in gloom and sorrow.
If there’s a prescribed way out of this sinkhole, I’d like to know what it is. Right now the only antidote for these moments of which I am aware appears as a combination of two things: 1) embrace madness and the lack of logic, and allow yourself to be an “unreasonably happy” individual. World imploding and doomed to catastrophe? Smile, darn ya, smile! And 2) to quote the character Dory from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming!” These moments of depression are equivalent to the psyche trying to escape the gravity of a black hole. Your only hope is to achieve escape velocity (which is, I dunno, probably the speed of light?) before you reach the event horizon, a near impossible feat, made more impossible if one doesn’t even try. So, boop-boop-diddum-boddum-waddum, swim and swim as fast as you can.
The long game values authenticity, growth, and self-awareness more than anything, more than money, more than status, more than influence and fame. It’s a lonely life, because for the most part the world is entirely predicated on these very things. I remember there came a point when I stopped giving a rats about which ones of my former classmates sold platinum or were nominated for Oscars. I remember realizing, in that moment, how it all just didn’t seem so important anymore.
There are two aspects to this mindset. The first is knowing what you are here to learn, how you are intended to grow, both from a spiritual level as well as a practical one. Understanding what life lessons are yours, uniquely, to tackle, provides one with a sense of direction. Everything else fades away. The second aspect has to do with a phrase that I used earlier: living immaculately. This has to do with treating others with respect, grace, and kindness. Ultimately, our only lasting impression in time is the energy output of our interactions. Our achievements will eventually crumble to dust, and even absolute fame cannot stop the grapevine from misattributing our deeds (just ask Richard III). The interactions themselves are quickly forgotten, but the energy generated by them is eternal. Imagine what a world we’d live in if everyone who believes in a religion said, “Hey stranger, you think differently from me, and that’s okay.”
In my last blog, I wrote about a condition that I have that makes it imperative that I practice living immaculately, not just patroling the energy that I generate, but also carefully curating the outside energy that comes into my space. I remember what is surely a mis-quote of former US Secretary of State Colin Powell, in reference to then candidate Barack Obama’s religious beliefs: “The correct answer is, yes, he is a Christian. The right answer is, it shouldn’t make a difference whether he is a Christian or a Muslim.” Possibly the smartest thing any US cabinet member has ever said. How far we’ve come.
To this, I submit: I curate my relationships, whether friendships, work-relationships, or other, very sincerely and very selectively. Why? The correct answer is because, as a suicidal, negative and destructive energies could easily seep into and overcome my consciousness with thoughts of self-harm. But the right answer, and what I submit to the world this year, is that people should curate their relationships, sincerely and selectively, because people deserve to be treated well. All people. Even the shit ones. Especially the shit ones. Immaculate living postulates that if everyone treats others with kindness, grace, and respect, then everyone will be treated with kindness, grace, and respect. For no reason whatsoever. Just because.
And by doing so, maybe we’ll turn the world from a place overflowing with misguided billionaires, clueless award winners, musclemen, and warlords, to one overflowing with compassion, harmony, and balance.
Travel safe, and talk soon.
To this, I submit: I curate my relationships, whether friendships, work-relationships, or other, very sincerely and very selectively. Why? The correct answer is because, as a suicidal, negative and destructive energies could easily seep into and overcome my consciousness with thoughts of self-harm. But the right answer, and what I submit to the world this year, is that people should curate their relationships, sincerely and selectively, because people deserve to be treated well. All people. Even the shit ones. Especially the shit ones. Immaculate living postulates that if everyone treats others with kindness, grace, and respect, then everyone will be treated with kindness, grace, and respect. For no reason whatsoever. Just because.
And by doing so, maybe we’ll turn the world from a place overflowing with misguided billionaires, clueless award winners, musclemen, and warlords, to one overflowing with compassion, harmony, and balance.
Travel safe, and talk soon.
-AF
WISHING YOU ALL A HAPPY 2025!
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