I like to imagine, when for whatever reason over the holiday season I come upon a track by “Il Divo,” that, unlike the Armani-clad troop of caterwauling haircuts that presents itself to us (take that as you will), this band of quasi-operatic artistes-du-jour is actually a quartet of highly committed cosplayer-vocalists, dressed with impeccably deliberate specificity as principal characters from various Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals (with, perhaps, the singular exclusion of what inner circle-types commonly refer to as “J.C.S.,” lest the repertoire’s lyrics come to feel a bit self-gratifying), and putting on a command performance of “Christmas & Other Holiday Songs,” at, perhaps, the Royal Albert Hall, where an eager-hearted music-theater loving eight-year-old me is present, in full regalia (them) (also me, I suppose, probably).
source: phantom-phans.weebly.com
HELPING MAKE THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT SINCE 1986.
Honestly, the image, albeit one fabricated in the wispy, warped corridors of my John Dorian-like imagination, of--oh, I don't know, not that I've given too much thought to it--Rusty the Steam Train (deep cut); Che Guevara (obviously); some sort of Cat... let's say, just to be topical: Bustopher Jones (the St. James St.—or, as he'd be known today, the “1%,” cat), and, of course, Monsieur le Phantom de l’Opera himself, is... is...
source: crazyyetwise.com
from 2018's upcoming "Passegiari Come Intendi" ("Saunter Like You Mean It")
Well, it’s an antidote, really, is what it is.
source: lumiere.net.nz
Ora questo è come lo "Il Divo," vero, Paolo?
Ah jk :) I don't mind those guys... But I tell you this, I’ve actually been on the development end of that sort of “packaged act”—on three separate occasions as it happens; this is something I’m probably not supposed to be particularly proud of, but whatever—anyway, so yeah, I’ve been at that table, and... well, let’s just say it’s a bit like “asparagus water” (#food.amazon.com): hard to take seriously, assuming you have the wherewithal to realize the whole thing is a bit of a ruse.
Anyway, enough of this opening act. Welcome to adamfarouk.com’s 2017 blog season. (See what I did? I only ever seem to blog at the end of the year for some reason, so I’m calling it a “season”: Marketing. #marketing)
ACTING.
And now:
source: animalzfun.blogspot.com
#capybara
*actual body of blog post begins here...* :)
I started a run this summer. That is to say, "One day, I started jogging," not, "Over the summer I organized and sponsored an athletic event bringing awareness to an important cause," although, now that I mention it, that seems like a really good idea #AdamsSummerFunRun2018. Anyway, at some point along the way, I remember thinking to myself: I could keep going. I had just hit pace such that it gave enough back to me without seeming to sap any strength or endurance in any noticeable way #slowmo #vangelis. I figured it was illusion; of course I never fully tested it out, so who knows; had I followed through the world might now be graced with the presence of a "Malaysian Forrest Gump." (insert ANY joke about Malaysians here, seriously you don’t even have to try...)
source: hetofutheory.blogspot.com
It is important that your tableware be slaughtered and processed in the correct manner.
source: tsnra.wordpress.com
translation: "One Way."
But I eventually returned home and realized, yes, it was an illusion and now my shins hurt and I can’t get off the floor even though my dogs are threatening to slowly smother me with slobbery kisses, which are adorable, but seriously Terry I can’t breathe.
I JUMPED ON YOUR LAP WHILE YOU WERE DRINKING HOT TEA
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
Anyway, betwixt the puffs of salmon-kibble dog breath that were slowly fumigating my brain, I started to think about the last decade or so, especially as pertains to me as a musician, and to the organization of BlueDorian. And it dawned on me that there was a lot that wasn’t working. I was—I am—starting to get tired, frayed, jaded, and starting not to care anymore about this mission that has come to define me and all I do. Unlike the stride I had found on my jog, this ground was sucking the energy from me, reminding me of all the reasons I had been told I should quit my creative aspirations, for I would never amount to anything. #hopeless
And when I start believing these old voices, well let’s just say there are problems.
Speaking of problems, that idea—that I would never amount to much, if anything at all—seems to have been a cornerstone of my family’s belief paradigm about me, that I offered (I use the past tense generously) little other than what might make them look good, improve their status, or validate them, usually with a strange combination of academics and appearances at the country club. I was never very good at the latter, and I was ok at the former but my heart lay in other, more fanciful areas: to me life wasn’t life if I was too far from either pen or piano.
And when I start believing these old voices, well let’s just say there are problems.
Speaking of problems, that idea—that I would never amount to much, if anything at all—seems to have been a cornerstone of my family’s belief paradigm about me, that I offered (I use the past tense generously) little other than what might make them look good, improve their status, or validate them, usually with a strange combination of academics and appearances at the country club. I was never very good at the latter, and I was ok at the former but my heart lay in other, more fanciful areas: to me life wasn’t life if I was too far from either pen or piano.
source: quotesgram.com
My family would say, and say often: “the problem with Adam...”
the problem with Adam is this...
the problem with Adam is that...
And there was a distinct whiff of the word “failure” implied in the use of the word “problem.” Adam can’t ride a horse very well on first (or, if we’re being honest, second, or ninth) attempt, therefore he is a failure as a son, and probably a human being (I know, right? You think I’m kidding). In contrast, I have through the years (with difficulty, and with a long way to go) come to view problems as being something quite different: not so much inherent, immutable flaws or shortcomings, but rather temporary obstacles to be overcome.
Now this is someone who readily accepts the possibility that he may suffer from severe depression for the rest of his life, so, I suppose, one could say: what the hell does he know about it? What license does he have to talk about seeing problems as temporary obstacles? I get it. Take it with a grain of salt. All I can say is, perhaps, that my grapples with mental illness, in this case, are like the weather, whereas this new understanding of the nature of problems is more akin to climate. The ups and downs of my uncooperative brain mean I will have days when I am ok, and I will, more often, have days when the only thing stopping me from secretly going somewhere secluded and quietly ending my life is the fact that, in today’s world, doing that in as responsible, clean, and likely-to-succeed a way as possible, is actually—perhaps fortunately—really quite difficult to do.
But through all this, and I mean all of it—the ups and the downs, this newer and hard-fought understanding of problems as temporary obstacles persists. It’s weird. It doesn’t make any sense. But maybe that’s why I mention it. Me and my addled psyche’s ability to understand this notion at all has to mean that others have a chance of doing so as well, in some cases, possibly even with some amount of ease. In other words, there’s, well, I don’t typically use the word “hope,” but there’s certainly...
the problem with Adam is this...
the problem with Adam is that...
And there was a distinct whiff of the word “failure” implied in the use of the word “problem.” Adam can’t ride a horse very well on first (or, if we’re being honest, second, or ninth) attempt, therefore he is a failure as a son, and probably a human being (I know, right? You think I’m kidding). In contrast, I have through the years (with difficulty, and with a long way to go) come to view problems as being something quite different: not so much inherent, immutable flaws or shortcomings, but rather temporary obstacles to be overcome.
Now this is someone who readily accepts the possibility that he may suffer from severe depression for the rest of his life, so, I suppose, one could say: what the hell does he know about it? What license does he have to talk about seeing problems as temporary obstacles? I get it. Take it with a grain of salt. All I can say is, perhaps, that my grapples with mental illness, in this case, are like the weather, whereas this new understanding of the nature of problems is more akin to climate. The ups and downs of my uncooperative brain mean I will have days when I am ok, and I will, more often, have days when the only thing stopping me from secretly going somewhere secluded and quietly ending my life is the fact that, in today’s world, doing that in as responsible, clean, and likely-to-succeed a way as possible, is actually—perhaps fortunately—really quite difficult to do.
But through all this, and I mean all of it—the ups and the downs, this newer and hard-fought understanding of problems as temporary obstacles persists. It’s weird. It doesn’t make any sense. But maybe that’s why I mention it. Me and my addled psyche’s ability to understand this notion at all has to mean that others have a chance of doing so as well, in some cases, possibly even with some amount of ease. In other words, there’s, well, I don’t typically use the word “hope,” but there’s certainly...
source: walmart.com
I was once told that my inability to “work with the system” was a problem i.e. a failing of mine. This one was not from family, rather some “friends” (I keep better company now) who themselves were achieving success in their various careers and endeavors, and saw what they understood to be my “failure” to do the same. So, of course, the problem with me was a... b... c. I simply needed to be better at “working with the system” and I would, like them, succeed.
I could list the psycho-spiritual reasons-to-dismiss, as well as the logical fallacies, that are involved in this sort of assumption-making, but the point of this writing is to acknowledge that, in this case, my “problem” wasn’t so much solvable through efforts to stop being myself as it was through being willing to understand what that meant (i.e. being yourself), as well as the consequences that might come with it. Being an outsider, as I’m sure both Susan Hinton and the Brat Pack could tell you, comes fraught with elements of peril, sometimes life-lasting ones. But it doesn’t mean that it’s the incorrect choice.
I could list the psycho-spiritual reasons-to-dismiss, as well as the logical fallacies, that are involved in this sort of assumption-making, but the point of this writing is to acknowledge that, in this case, my “problem” wasn’t so much solvable through efforts to stop being myself as it was through being willing to understand what that meant (i.e. being yourself), as well as the consequences that might come with it. Being an outsider, as I’m sure both Susan Hinton and the Brat Pack could tell you, comes fraught with elements of peril, sometimes life-lasting ones. But it doesn’t mean that it’s the incorrect choice.
source: www.popdust.com
Some of these choices, however... (#notmyrob)
...
To be fair, it was 1983, which, for context, means...
source: www.mensfashionmagazine.com
But I digress.
I do not accept that the fact that my work (the quality of which I firmly stand behind) has yet to receive much public attention has anything to do with any sort of failure, even though on my darker days, the thought does occur to me. Firstly, my choice to build from scratch a network of business models and affiliated companies that distributes and represents my work and my mission in a way that is authentic to who I am and what I believe, while a difficult endeavor, is one I will cherish until the day, should it come, I make like Forrest Gump and just stop running.
I do not accept that the fact that my work (the quality of which I firmly stand behind) has yet to receive much public attention has anything to do with any sort of failure, even though on my darker days, the thought does occur to me. Firstly, my choice to build from scratch a network of business models and affiliated companies that distributes and represents my work and my mission in a way that is authentic to who I am and what I believe, while a difficult endeavor, is one I will cherish until the day, should it come, I make like Forrest Gump and just stop running.
source: retrogamenetwork.com
Indeed.
Secondly, my measure of success, I’m realizing, is at this point so far from accolade that I can barely remember how it felt to be flattered, let alone validated, by the prospect of any sort of external commendation. While I can appreciate there being benefits to such laurels and prizes and the like, such as exposure to the public of what might be an important message, the sheen brought on by the glamour of such pageantry is, to me, greatly diminished. What, I suppose, matters is the solving of the puzzle: the good science, if you will. How do I build a good house? One that is strong, one that emanates light into the world just by existing, and one that I’m happy with, that, when entered into, I feel at home, and filled with a sense of wellness. No one can judge that but me. That’s what’s important to me; that’s how I will feel I have succeeded.
Finally, and this I owe a lot to my ever-optimist wife, Elizabeth, who helps me, daily, shake off the bonds of the rigid and, I might hazard, tyrannical doctrines governing the families of my birth. If it is established that a problem is not a failure but a temporary obstacle, it must be recognized that the temporary obstacle is not you. It may be some thing you have yet to learn. It may be an aspect of yourself that challenges or undermines your efforts. But those are different from it being something fundamental about you. Rather, I wager that these temporary obstacles that we experience are always a collection of things that you can: i) solve; ii) create a methodology for solving; iii) or create of a good team of worthy people (key word: worthy) who will help you find solutions.
Finally, and this I owe a lot to my ever-optimist wife, Elizabeth, who helps me, daily, shake off the bonds of the rigid and, I might hazard, tyrannical doctrines governing the families of my birth. If it is established that a problem is not a failure but a temporary obstacle, it must be recognized that the temporary obstacle is not you. It may be some thing you have yet to learn. It may be an aspect of yourself that challenges or undermines your efforts. But those are different from it being something fundamental about you. Rather, I wager that these temporary obstacles that we experience are always a collection of things that you can: i) solve; ii) create a methodology for solving; iii) or create of a good team of worthy people (key word: worthy) who will help you find solutions.
source: guff.com
#BelieveInYourself
To be continued in Part 2...
Title Inspiration:
Song: WHY CAN'T THIS BE LOVE (Van Halen, Van Halen, Anthony, Hagar)
Artist: VAN HALEN
Song: WHY CAN'T THIS BE LOVE (Van Halen, Van Halen, Anthony, Hagar)
Artist: VAN HALEN
Enjoy! -AF
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